


Not Quite Binary

by esperink



Series: Nonbinary Jeremy (the Not Quite series) [1]
Category: Be More Chill - Iconis/Tracz
Genre: #LetJeremySayFuck2K18, Gen, Jeremy can't sleep, Nonbinary Character, Nonbinary Jeremy Heere, Teen rating for a swear word, The Squip is condescending, What else is new, me? projecting? it's more likely than you think
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-02-19
Updated: 2018-02-19
Packaged: 2019-03-18 18:27:06
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 965
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/13687314
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/esperink/pseuds/esperink
Summary: In which the Squip is actually helpful.





	Not Quite Binary

_That’s a girl’s shirt._

Jeremy turned around in bed, with a sigh, running through all the things that happened in the past couple of days.

_Stalls are for girls! Are you a girl, Jeremy?_

Jeremy grumbled and turned again, facing the wall. He had no idea why these comments bothered him so much. He had dismissed that idea years ago. He didn’t quite feel comfortable being referred to as a boy sometimes, but if he wasn’t a girl, he had to be a boy. Right?

That’s what he told himself. It’s not like there was anything else.

….right?

Jeremy sighed loudly, tossing and turning again.

**_Tedious._ **

“Shut up,” Jeremy muttered to the empty room.

Jeremy felt, more than heard, a whirring sound in his head.

He blinked, and then he saw the Squip standing in front of his bed. A few holographic screens showed up in thin air. It felt very bizarre and sci-fi, and Jeremy would have thought it was cool if he wasn’t so tired and annoyed.

“What are you doing?”

**_I am merely looking through databases about your… issue._ **

“I’m not having an issue.”

**_You can’t lie to me, Jeremy. I’m inside your brain._ **

Jeremy made a noise that was a mix of a growl and a groan.

 ** _Now,_** the Squip continued, **_you are a little too old to be having a gender crisis, aren’t you?_** There was a tone of… something.

Jeremy covered his face quickly, his face turning red and not entirely knowing why he didn’t feel well. “I’m not – I’m not having any gender crisis!” he said, trying and failing to keep his voice low. “I’m a – I was born a guy and still am.”

His hands curled at the Squip’s sarcastic hum. The Squip reminded Jeremy that he couldn’t lie, and informed him that the two of them would be looking at Jeremy’s memories now. Not that he’d have a choice.

Jeremy shoved his still reddening face into the pillow, grumbling. He just wanted to sleep. Why was that so hard? He tried not to care when he started hearing voices on the holographic screens, but his curiosity (curse his curiosity) got ahead of him. He pushed himself up to sit at the edge of the bed, watching the screens.

There were various memories shown. Some were years old and some were only days old. With each memory he watched, the feelings of it came back briefly. He watched his younger self walk with somebody he could barely remember, and when they said, “You’re such a good boy, Jeremy!” the reminiscent feeling of his stomach dropping filtered through.

The Squip hummed, less sarcastically this time, but no less annoyingly.

Jeremy watched some of the other memories, looking away when he’d had enough. He only returned his gaze to the screens when he saw that the memories were gone and replaced with text.

“I’m not a girl,” Jeremy said, recognizing the Squip’s contemplative look. He was completely sure of that fact. “I’m a boy.” He was less sure of that one.

**_Jeremy._ **

Jeremy barely realized that he’d stuffed his face back into the pillow when the Squip spoke again, looking up at the Keanu Reeves look alike. “What?” he demanded. He wished he’d gone to bed earlier. Maybe he would have fallen asleep earlier if he had.

**_Have you considered that not everything in life is binary?_ **

The word ‘binary’ was somewhat strange to hear from the supercomputer, since Jeremy was sure that’s what computers and processers consisted of. He suddenly became aware of just how bizarre this was, discussing gender with a supercomputer, and he struggled to keep from laughing. It wouldn’t be a happy laugh used when he thought something was funny, more of a slightly panicky and high pitched ‘what the fuck is my life?’ laugh.

“What does that even mean?” Jeremy muttered when he’d calmed down enough to be able to move his face away from his pillow.

The Squip’s eyes had narrowed when Jeremy almost started to laugh. **_It means,_** the supercomputer said, **_that not everything is binary._** The Squip started to elaborate. **_Your society places binaries on things like gender and sexuality._**

When had sexuality been thrown into the mix? But Jeremy kept quiet.

 ** _It is not always so,_** the Squip continued, leisurely pacing nearby. **_Now, I’ve compiled a list on things regarding such. Sit up and look through it. I’m sure that when you arrive at a conclusion, you will be able to sleep._**

Jeremy sighed and sat back up. He glanced towards the single screen left, in front of the bed. He scooted towards it, reading the list and definitions. Bigender. Nonbinary. Genderflux. Agender. Genderfluid. Demigender. This was all very new and strange to him.

He skimmed the list, feeling out of place, but his eyes continued to wander back up to the word ‘nonbinary’. But I don’t even mind my pronouns, he thought.

 ** _It is not necessary to change pronouns,_** the Squip informed him. **_This is merely a general list. My research indicates other nonbinary individuals use a variety of them._**

Jeremy’s stomach twisted, though not unpleasantly, at the Squip indirectly referring to him as nonbinary. “Right,” he said, his stomach feeling funny again. He looked away then back at the word. He wouldn’t say it out loud, but he thought about it.

the Squip snapped fingers and the holographic screen disappeared from in front of Jeremy with a zapping noise, startling the teen. The two of them glanced towards the clock near Jeremy’s bed; the time read 3:22 AM. The Squip gave him a look that told him to sleep, so Jeremy put his pillow back down, placing his head on it and pulling the covers up to his chin.

He fell asleep, considerably less bothered than before.

**Author's Note:**

> Do you know how difficult it was to not use pronouns for the Squip. (It actually wasn’t that hard, but there were a few parts)


End file.
